and....

I was searched for drugs during a drug bust gone wrong tonight.
Way to go, suspicious UNH police.

highlights:

first thing cop says [To E]: "Who is the guy in the middle?"
Question we were all asked: "How long have you known C? How well do you know him?"

cop: "Is there anything in your pockets that is sharp and could hurt me?"
me: "you have my wallet in your hand. You already went into that pocket. There were keys... those could possibly hurt you if you tried."

cop: "Could you lift your foot, sir?"
me: "yeah, want me to start lifting the carpets? I'm feeling useless in here.

Cop on other side to car: "could you boys step out of the car please?"
[M and C get out, but I'm still inside, 'cause the guy that was shining a flashlight on my side disappeared.]
"were you including me? my guy went somewhere. hello?"

Cop to E: "there's nothing in your car?" [sniffing water bottle]
E: "No, and that's just water. It's been there forever.
[I somehow end up with the two of them at this point]
me: "that's just gross... dude, don't sniff that."

Cop: "are you in possession of anything I should know about?"
Me: "absolutely not."
Cop: "and were you guys doing anything back there that I should know about?"
Me: "to be honest... we were putting our seatbelts on to look good for you guys... did not work out well."

Cop: "lace your fingers, please?"
Me: "I'm pretty sure I already have them...[cut off]
cop: "Lace your fingers!"
me: "um okay I'll try harder."

If they're going to pull us over on bogus charges, they're going to get hilarious retorts.

In the end, our offense was threefold:

cop 1: "you were over the white line back there.... yeah. that one."
cop 2: "no, there was nothing about lines. you went through that red light, we think."
cop 3: "we weren't planning on pulling you over, but the boys were bouncing around back there."

Update:
"was it a full moon? They might have suspected him of having drugs and then feared you were a werewolf, and thought they had to take you in."
- my brother.